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Writer's pictureRenché Seyffert

You become the average of the 5 people you spend most of your time with.

Updated: Dec 6, 2021


I saw this quote slightly more than a year ago. And it hit me right between the eyes. It’s partially due to this quote that I have made some serious changes in my life over the past year.


If you haven't noticed by now. We here at #TeamFitBest are pretty focused on individual journeys. This is not a community for comparison or competition. The only comparison we allow is comparing your old self vs your new self. And your only competition is the one who stares back at you in the mirror! Before we go any further, quickly assess who the 5 people are in your life, whom you spend most of your time with. It doesn’t necessarily have to be people you see everyday, like the people you work with. It might include colleagues but it’s definitely not limited to that. When I say, the 5 people you spend most of your time with - I am referring to the 5 people who has the biggest impact in your life. Right, you have those 5 names in your head? Now I want to ask you, how do they influence your life? Do they challenge you to grow? Do they help and encourage you to get out of your comfort zone? Or do some of them tell you that you are changing too much or becoming “too”... I love how Afrikaans speaking people say “sy is TE”... It always make me smile for a while and then it makes me sad because I want them to become TE on their own journeys as well. Do your friends want you to stay the same, to stay in your comfort zone? I posted a quote a while ago on my personal Instagram saying: "God does not want us to have friendships merely to fill our time with. He wants us to have appointed and spiritually nourished relationships." The importance of the five people you allow closest to you, carries more weight than you have probably realized until today. And it’s okay, it’s never too late to make changes. We all grow at different rates. What is important though is that you actively focus on surrounding yourself with people who force you to up you game. Not to match their game. But to up your own! Because they want to see you grow and succeed. Mature friendships nourish the soul. Mature friendships sometimes shares hard truths. Truth in love and love in truth. Neither means anything without the other. Mature friendships will enable you to celebrate a friend’s winning season with them - even when you might be in a losing season. Mature friendships gives you grace to have mercy with friends who are in a losing / pruning season, even when you are in a winning season. Because no matter what season you are in, you know you are dancing on your own scroll. There’s no comparison, because we are all called for a different purpose by God! We have recently done a fun “personality test” in our fellowship group on redemptive gifts. And it blessed my heart to see how much that meant to some of them and the revelation that came with it. Our redemptive gift is the gift / ‘calling’ we have received from God at the moment of conception. This is yet another example that we are not the same, nor were we ever meant to be the same. We all have different callings and we all walk different paths. But we have the choice to decide who we’ll allow closest. Our callings are there to compliment and enrich the other’s - not to compete for the number 1 spot. God is Number 1 and the rest of us are ALL in a level playing field! If we are all in the same level field - it means there is no point to compete with anyone. Because it won’t get you anywhere, literally! I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be surrounded with people who want me to stay the same. We are not meant to stay the same forever. And if a close friend tells you that you’ve changed too much - when in fact you have grown as a person. That person does not deserve a spot in your top 5. I’m not saying burn bridges with people. But life is damn hard as it is. And we are called to run the race with endurance until the end. You don’t need things that weigh you down and hold you back from becoming who God created you to be.

PS: If you guys would be interested to do the Redemptive Gift test, download it below

- it might mean something to you PLUS it’s really fun haha. Maybe we can do a series of blog post on the different gifts, if that would be something you’d be interested in.


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